[Intro]

[Verse 1]

Well, I woke up back in March, felt a tingling in my toes

Thought it was just the whiskey, or the way the cold wind blows

But by the middle of the week, I couldn't even stand up straight

My immune system went rogue, and sealed my damn fate

Doctor looked me in the eyes, said "Son, I got some news"

It’s a long-ass word that’s gonna give you the blues.

[Chorus 1]

Yeah, Guillain-Barré can suck my whole ass!

It took away my movement and it knocked me on my ass!

My nerves are all fried like a cheap catfish fry

It’s the worst damn thing under God's blue sky

I'm stuck in this bed, and I'm mad as hell

Guillain-Barré, you can burn straight in hell!

[Verse 2]

Can’t even hold a beer, can’t wipe my own behind

This autoimmune bullshit is losing me my mind

My own white blood cells started eating my sheath

I’m so damn mad I’m spitting through my teeth

The nurses are nice, but I want my damn life back

Instead of getting paralyzed by a microscopic attack.

[Chorus 2]

Yeah, Guillain-Barré can suck my whole ass!

It took away my movement and it knocked me on my ass!

My nerves are all fried like a cheap catfish fry

It’s the worst damn thing under God's blue sky

I'm stuck in this bed, and I'm mad as hell

Guillain-Barré, you can burn straight in hell!

[Bridge]

[Stripped back, just acoustic guitar and a lonely steel guitar, sounding vulnerable but still pissed]

March came around and it stole my damn stride

Left me with nothing but a bruised-up pride

They say I’m gonna heal, but it’s taking too long

So until I can walk, I’m gonna sing this pissed-off song...

[Chorus 3]

'Cause Guillain-Barré can suck my whole ass!

It took away my movement and it knocked me on my ass!

My nerves are all fried like a cheap catfish fry

It’s the worst damn thing under God's blue sky

I'm stuck in this bed, and I'm mad as hell

Guillain-Barré, you can burn straight in hell!Yeah, burn in hell.

Give me my damn boots back.

[Finale]