[Intro]

[verse]

Peterson Scott was quite off his dot, no stranger to madness was he

While walking along, not thinking he’s wrong, carelessly twisted his knee

Dam it he thought while cursing his lot “I surely will never recover”

The pain of it all, preferring a fall, “I’m doomed forever to suffer.”

Now Elisabeth Henderson sat listening to Mendelssohn sipping her cup of warm tea

While Sylvia Slurry from north of Mount Curie was kissing her cousin Marie

“A sorted affair” grunted Billy Bonaire at the thought of them twisted together

“They’ll both rot in hell” croaked Cynthia Bell as she winked at a girl we’ll call Heather

Down by the harbour sat Larry the Barber soaking up life by the sea

Sitting by Larry was Margie MacGary a spinster from south of Dundee

Now Suzy McFarland looked quite the young darlin slipping gracefully out from the parlour

While swishing along, feeling nothing was wrong, fell carelessly into the harbour

“Fetch me a net” cried Lilly Banette, as she ran to the edge of the water

“Hang on there dear, we're getting the gear”, shouted Eric Macalister’s daughter.

The people in town all gather around to witness the rescue charade

Standing there yelling was fireman Snelling head of the fire brigade

Police chief Pat stood clutching his hat screaming orders at Deputy Potter

While Suzy was thinking, “I’m not really sinking”, kept flailing around in the water

After the drowning and all of the floundering, the mood in the village was glum

There was no mistaken a life had been taken, poor Suzy McFarland was done!