Yes, I'm Conker the doctor, HEY!

[Verse]

Yes, I'm Conker the doctor, HEY!

[Verse]

So! You burned your finger and not feeling well, I'll come right now with my healing gel.

Now I don't want you overly concerned, but some of my remedies may burn!

[Verse]

If you've a touch of diarrhea, I'll be on my way to come and see-ya.

Your tummy's feeling a bit upset, don't stray too far from the toilet!

[Chorus]

I'm Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

When you need a remedy, I'm the one to come and see!

I'm Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

If you puke well you're in luck it, just so happens I have a bucket!

[Verse]

Now if you can't sleep all night, you may have an internal parasite.

And I don't want to be the one to make you squirm, we're gonna have to wiggle out that worm!

If you fall and scrape your knee, and cry out in agony,

I'm gonna give it to you straight, I think we have to amputate!

[Chorus]

I'm Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

When you need a remedy, I'm the one to come and see!

I'm Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

If you puke well you're in luck it, just so happens I have a bucket!

I'm Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

When you need a remedy, I'm the one to come and see!

[Verse]

So when your always running late, for all the very important dates.

I know why, but the answers not great. It's all because you procrastinate!

And when you're stuck and constipated, I can help you feel elated.

Don't get yourself all frustrated, in just a minute you'll be deflated!

[Chorus]

I'm Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

When you need a remedy, I'm the one to come and see!

I'm Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

If you puke well you're in luck it, just so happens I have a bucket!

I'm Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

When you need a remedy, I'm the one to come and see!

Last time! Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

Conk-er the doctor! Conk-er the doctor!

[Outro]