Jeff

Whose timbre shakes the prisoned pale,

By crawling Carl and donut’s flame,

We speak the elder speaker’s name.

From halls where echoes dare not tread,

Where books are bound with runes and dread,

We call thee forth, O velvet tone—

Let Jeff Hays claim the sacred throne!

(Chorus, whispered in rhythm)

Page to page, and crawl to crawl,

Guide us through the dungeon’s thrall.

From screaming gnomes to traps unfair,

Give voice to madness, doom, despair.

With headset crowned and script in hand,

Step forth across the cursed land.

Narrate the chaos, snark, and gore—

Till Carl ascends and lives once more!